Characters Whom I’ve Been Forced To Block On Facebook (And What YOU Can Do To Be Next!)
The Non-Practicing Bisexual Born Again Christian
Yeah, so I know what you’re thinking: “How did anyone who fits this description even make it on to Grinner’s FB Friends List?!?” Well that’s because back when I knew this fool, he was a Radical Latino Activist. In fact, I barely recognized him when he added me because when I knew him he had a Spanish first name (we’ll go with “Jose,” to protect the completely insane) and when he added me, he had become “Joe.” As it turns out, his real name was “Joe”…but perhaps he felt “Jose” was more militant. Anyway, shortly after he Friended me I realized that he was Born Again. Which was fine by me. Until he started attempting to use my page as a Pulpit. The issue of LGBT youth suicide – a year prior to it becoming the phenomenon that it is today – was one he especially liked to tackle. In one particular post, I noted that we need to change the anti-LGBT ideologies that exist in homes, churches, schools, etc. He responded by taking issue with the fact that I mentioned churches. He then sent a note to my Facebook Inbox, the gist of which went something like this:
The church does not hate the SINNER…it hates the SIN of homosexuality! This is a sensitive issue for me because I am a Non-Practicing Bisexual Christian (note that he did not say “former” or “recovering”). I am bisexual, but I no longer engage in sex with anyone outside of my wife. My wife does not know; she can never know, as she comes from a very traditional family and will leave me if she ever finds out. The fact that I have lied to her about my sexuality since the moment we met is not a problem at all, from a Christian perspective…because I no longer have sex with men. I duped her into marrying me by pretending that I had always been heterosexual and had never engaged in sexual relations with a man…and I will continue lying to her for the remainder of our marriage. No one at my church knows, but if they did they would accept me. (Really?!? Then why not tell them?!?) I am now studying at a Seminary, and although I have dabbled in everything from Voodoo to Atheism, I fully expect that you will treat me as an Authority on the Bible and Christianity…even if I did just convert like 2 years ago and you were raised as a Christian. That said, the next time you want to post something about religion on your page, can you run it by me first?!? A lot of people follow your posts and listen to your perspectives; I want to make sure that what you are putting out there is Biblically sound before you post it…
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I could go on…but why?!? [Facebook BLOCKED!]
The Leviticus Quoting Homophobic Coward
Now this one has been Born Again since we first met, but like many folks he has become more conservative and ignorant with age. In the first place, he constantly asserts that he “loves all people,” but then will devolve into rants about how LGBT lifestyles are “ruining the fabric of our culture” (a fabric that has been tattered and torn since this country’s inception…but whatever), and how soon people like him will need to “go into hiding” – ostensibly the same day the rest of us just give in to all of that horrible LGBT Pressure and become Queer. When asked to support his beliefs with evidence, he cites Bible scripture but cannot provide context for these citations; of special note is that he has referred to Judaism as a “Gutter Religion” and Islam as a “Terrorist Religion”…but not publicly. I once hazed him into admitting what he thought in an FB Inbox message. Despite the fact that he considers Judaism to be a “Gutter Religion” (though Christ was a member), he cites the Jewish Torah (Christian Old Testament) almost exclusively when it comes to rebuking LGBT communities…his favorite Book of the Bible for this is Leviticus. So he floods my FB Inbox with quotes from Leviticus, when all the while: his profile picture presents an image of him with the sides of his hair cut closely to the scalp and a cleanly shaven face (Leviticus 19:27 “Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.”); also in his profile picture, he appears to be wearing a cotton-blend shirt (Leviticus 19:19 “Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material”); I know that he enjoys both pork and seafood (Leviticus 11:7-8 “And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you.” & 11:10-11 “But all creatures in the seas or streams that do not have fins and scales—whether among all the swarming things or among all the other living creatures in the water—you are to regard as unclean. And since you are to regard them as unclean, you must not eat their meat; you must regard their carcasses as unclean.”); he voted against Gay Marriage (Leviticus 19:15 “Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.”); and he spreads misinformation and lies about LGBT People (Leviticus 19:16 “Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life.”) Picking & Choosing which parts of Leviticus you will follow and which parts you will not = Shady As Hell.
So there you have it; another HYPOCRITE. The truth is that he can’t step to me about anything Biblical, because like so many folks who misuse the Bible as a weapon…he hasn’t even really read it. He simply chooses those citations that best suit his needs, and attacks folks with them at will. And as far as folks like him having to “go into hiding”…that is what COWARDS do! I won’t be hiding anywhere; when you are passionate and clear about your beliefs, you face the fire for them. He obviously cannot do so. And after all that…he was shocked that I deleted him as a Facebook Friend. And so he tried to flood my FB Inbox, on the Obsessive tip. His Fate?!? You Already Know. [Facebook BLOCKED!]
The Obsessive Stalker Know-It-All-Who-Knows-Nothing
Now this one is not my fault; he was suggested to me by a mutual Facebook Friend. When Friends “suggest” other Friends to me, I tend to assume that the person who has been suggested is progressive, insightful, and active. Well, this fool was active at least. On my page. Every single day. In fact, shortly after adding me I believe that this man awoke each morning, logged into Facebook, and then went DIRECTLY to Leslie Grinner’s Page. While there, he would make commentary – occasionally insightful, never brilliant, always full of himself and inflexible – on everything from songs to status posts. I knew that this man was married – and had been for decades – and his obsessive attention to my page began to bother me. If I posted a song, he would make sure to let me – and everyone else – know that he knew more than one song by this artist, or that he knew who made the original version of the song…because clearly I (who posted the damn song) would know nothing of its history. His Bible was the New York Times; it is the only media source from which he shared posts, and he would often quote NY Times Op-Ed writers when making his (completely shallow and not well analyzed) arguments. And he ALWAYS had something to argue about. Then he started getting rude with some of my other Friends. Fronting as a Progressive, he started showing his True Colors by making ridiculous comments like, “I would do ANYTHING to be filthy rich…no matter WHAT it was”; when called on this, he defended it for 4 posts before finally saying, “I was just kidding…” Yeah, whatever fool. The Breaking Point for me came when, during a discussion thread about children in schools, he insisted that some kids need to be “caged” (i.e., left in a room or ejected from school altogether) if they come to school with any behavioral issues. This set him off on an anti-Children With Disabilities rant. He would never want any child with Autism to be in a class with his child. In a discussion of the Glen Ridge, NJ gang-rape case of the late 1980’s, he stated that since the victim was a young woman with developmental disabilities…her gang-rape was proof that mainstreaming kids with disabilities into schools has backfired. (Newsflash, Jackass: SHE LIVED IN THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD; SHE DID NOT NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH THEM TO BE GANG-RAPED BY THEM.) But why blame rapists when you can blame those who are proponents of mainstreaming Students with Disabilities?!? WTF?!? Then – after presenting every argument supporting the warped Western ideology of Individualism that has ever been presented – he referred to himself as being “communally” minded, because he is pro-“majority.”And lastly, he would not hear any arguments from me that were pro-Children With Disabilities/Behavioral Issues…because I am not a parent. Apparently, his Ableist Bigotry is validated by the fact that (unfortunately for his children) he is a parent. He posited that if I had children, I would not want them to be in classrooms with children who have disabilities. Even though my 17-year-old Godson – who has Autism – is an accomplished professional musician who will be graduating from a Mainstream High School next year. But I guess if I had kids, I would want them to stay as far away from this Stellar Young Person as possible?!? Yeah…a Real Gem, this Know-It-All-Who-Knows-Nothing Bastard.
Then he tried to ream me out under one of my own f’kn statuses. He is a Dummy, an Asshole…and I really need to get with the Friend who suggested him and tell her that she needs to vet people more thoroughly before she sends them my way. Since he had become so accustomed to stalking my page on the Daily, I know he misses me. But I don’t miss his crazy ass. F**k You, Loser. [Facebook BLOCKED].
The Totally Unstable Broad From College Whom Everyone Warned Me About But I Befriended Anyway
This one is Totally My Fault. I have known this woman was slightly insane since we were in college together; she also has a terrible drinking problem that she is able to pass off because she has an advanced degree from a prominent university. She has been friends – then fallen out completely – with everyone we know, at least once. So anyway, she and I had never had any beef, ergo I saw no problem with adding her as a Facebook Friend. And things went well for many months; until one day I logged on and found that she had de-Friended me. This was strange, since we had just engaged in a very nice conversation via Facebook Inbox only two days prior to her deleting me. I racked my brain thinking of a “good reason” for her to have done this, and when I came up with “Not A Damn Thing,” I knew that she was pulling one of her Crazy Lady Routines on me. But I didn’t take the bait. I did not write her and ask, “Is everything OK?!?” I didn’t want to hear whatever craziness she had concocted in her warped mind that led her to a midnight Facebook deleting session. I figured she had given me a clean “out” here…so I took ending our relationship a step further by BLOCKING her. I don’t know why she deleted me, I don’t care why she deleted me, and I will not engage with her insanity over some imaginary dispute that she has created between us. She’s dead to me. And I’m good with that. [Facebook BLOCKED!]
That’s all for now, Folks! This was cathartic; I really need to get on this Blog Posting thing more seriously! Be Good To Yourselves…And Don’t Make Me Facebook BLOCK You! =)